Driving home with JerryJeff,
after sitting on Bobby’s porch
in the evening wind with a short cigar
and a splash of Russells
smelling of sawdust and Odee dog
weighted with history
and progeny
but not weighed down.
I’m anchored as I trace
the wellworn route home
JerryJeff sings a Willie
song and, in his own
gotdammed perfectly broken
outlawcosmiccowboyAustininthe70’s way,
changes the lyrics and phrasing
just enough
to make it his own song
and tears flood my eyes and
I let loose a stabbing sob -
a prayer of sorts -
feeling it all
all at once
all of it, if it’s only for a moment
before I have to pay closer attention
to the stop signs and speed limits.
JerryJeff’s been gone almost three years now
Willie’s hanging on held together just like Trigger.
Tonight I feel I’m not that far behind
but far enough that there's still things
I need to see through, to pay back and to pay forward,
things I’ve yet to get to and things yet to pass on,
Niebuhr wrote “nothing that's worth doing can be accomplished
in a lifetime; therefore we are saved by hope”
maybe that’s what I felt in that moment
so I’ll add my voice to the song
I’ve got my hands on the wheel
of something that’s real,
and all this feels just like home.