Needs, Wants, Dreams

A new season for writing

For most of our married life Jane and I’ve spent time around the end of the year or near the start of the next reflecting on what’s past and looking ahead to the what's next. We’ll make a list of all the people we’re grateful for, give thanks for the things we’ve been able to do and see and set some goals for what’s ahead.

We’ll make a document with three columns, labeled “Needs, Wants, Dreams”, it's a simple exercise, pretty self-explanatory. The first column lists the things: physical, experiential, financial, that are necessary for us to survive the coming year. The next contains things nice to have but not essential. Last are things that may seem impossible, frivolous or over the top, but are dreams nonetheless.

It’s amazing how the lists evolve. Things once considered necessary for survival, barely attainable, now are mundane or no longer a consideration. Wants become needs or drop off the list altogether. Dreams change and morph, a few are met in spectacular ways, most fade and disappear.

Periodically we’ll look back with awe and reverence at the time we were new parents and see “diapers” in the need column and “a reliable car” in the wants. We’ll see a dream of “summer camp for the girls” be miraculously met and “moving overseas” fade.

Every time we do this I’m humbled and filled with gratitude. I also realize it’s a tremendous privilege to even be able to undertake such an exercise. So many people on our planet are fighting just to survive or so burdened with obligations and circumstances there’s no freedom to think in such ways. To be sure there were years when we were facing tragedy or circumstances that it didn’t even cross our minds, times it would’ve seemed cruel if it had. Times it took all we had just to keep breathing.

But for those of us who have this extraordinary privilege and the space for such things, might I suggest you give it a try? You can do this as a single person, a couple, family or group of friends.

The insight that’s gained after even a few years might be surprising. It helps us recognize what in us is changing and what’s staying the same. Where we’re rooting deeper and where we’re in a season of change? We often think we know these things, but doing something like this gives us evidence.

And speaking of seasons, I’m going to be devoting quite a bit to thinking and writing about them this coming year, and possibly beyond. I started The Other Deepest Thing as a way to wrestle with my own response to tragedy and grief and as a way to connect with and help others as they did the same. I’ll still be writing about this, because, well, it really never ends.

But it’s not all there is and, like the seasons, it comes and goes. I also want to write more about seasonality as a way to deeply explore the ways I’ve changed and am continuing to change. To examine the meaning, opportunities and purposes for the changes, the metaphors and imagination that can help me understand and align myself with them.

In the next little bit I’ll be going back and making all the posts here public. If you’ve paid for a subscription, I can’t thank you enough. Your encouragement and faith have carried me through so much. And since you anted up and took a chance here, I’m going to give you full access to the new page for free.

I’ll keep you posted as things get set up. Also, as the year of Our Lord 2024 wraps up, I’d appreciate if you’d consider the Abide Collective in your year end giving, it that’s something you do.

Grace and peace y’all,

John